a full plate.

It's been awhile since I've sat down and blogged. Main reason being these are the very last few weeks I have with just "mama & lainey time". I try to never take anything for granted, so I've been spending some extra special time with her. 

The next few months are about to be at the very least, hectic. We have a vacation trip home next week & it will be a much needed break from everything. It'll also be the last time Casey sees his parents before he deploys. I know saying goodbye this time will be different from the rest. After we get back from Mississippi, it will be time to have a baby. Mr.Lenix. He has already rocked his mama's world. Now that labor is so close, I;m getting nervous about it. If it's like it was with Lainey, no big deal. I felt no pain, & it was over as soon as it started. I feel as if I got pretty lucky in that department. So, what's the odds of that happening twice? My honest opinion, I think I probably have a better chance on being struck by lightning. To me nothing about a new baby is glamorous. not the pregnancy, not the l&d, & damn sure not the first week or two after birth. It's just the Love. Thats what's so exciting about it. The overwhelming feeling as you see your child for the first time. The instant love that no one in this world can comprehend or even come close to understanding, but a mother, who's been threw the exact same thing. Something so overwhelmingly powerful that the pain that your own body just went through is the furthest thing from your mind. I went from wondering what was going on "down there", to completely forgetting about it, within a second. Watching Lainey take her first breath has  been the greatest, most fulfilling experience of my life. hands down. The first time the handed her to me I didnt even know how to hold a baby. I hated kids. Still do, besides a slim few. But the second she open her eyes & looked at mine was magical. I'll never be able to fully explain it like it really feels. I was an unmarried, uneducated, unemployed, teenage mother. But I didnt care.She was my everything in an instant, And I was suddenly perfectly happy being me, because I was her mother. My mom was there when I had Lainey & the moment Im talking about, where me&L made eyecontact for the first time, my mom got it on camera. She got several great pictures when Lainey was born. I never even noticed she was taking pictures, that's how caught up in Lainey I was. The fact that Im about to go threw all of this again is amazing. (overwhelming, scary, and ridiculous) but amazing. And this time I (hopefully) get to experience it with my husband. I pray that he somehow feels some of this 'magic'. I call it magic because i dont know what else to call it, to me that's what it is. --  Compared to my last pregnancy, this one has flown by at an alarming rate. He has a room, with furniture. But that's it. No bedding, no diapers his size. It's overwhelming. That time is almost gone, this is really about to happen again. I have to kick myself into high gear. I'm hoping he will be here well before Thanksgiving. That way he will have time with his daddy. I've already had 8 months of bonding time with him, Casey deserves at least a week or two.  -  Our mothers & my best friend are coming up here before he leaves & I am so excited I could pee. I never thought I'd have a mother-in-law like I do. I always heard all of the common mother-in-law horror stories, & assumed I'd have a wicked witch like everybody else. I guess I lucked out. Because her coming here feels like Christmas to me. I really thank God for her, that she accepts me as I am, faults & all. My mom & lindsay coming are just icing on the cake.I love the fact that over the years, I've had a friendship that has lasted throughout everything. She was my first friend that came to see lainey & we hadnt even been that close while i was pregnant with lainey, but she was there. & she's gonna be here shortly after Lenix.  I also love, love, love the fact that I have a mother who has honestly always been there for me. She hasnt really missed a moment in my life & I'll never take that for granted. How blessed can I get? .  I am so excited that for a little bit, I will have the people that mean the most to me and my family (Casey, Me, The L Babys, & our mothers) together. Even if it's just for a few days. Family is so special to me. Especially since we dont get to see ours too often. ---Im not too upset about Casey leaving anymore. I know we'll be just fine. Plus Im going to school while he's gone, so Im pretty excited about it. Finally getting started back on a path that will make my children proud. I wish I didnt have to move across country with two babies, in snow. But it will be worth it. I have so much to do in so little time. But at the same time I have so much to be thankful for that it kind of diminishes all of my worries & fears. Just one of those moments I get to look up & smile, because I know there is a greater power looking out for me. Jeremiah 29:11.