daddy's games.

On Tuesdays, & sometimes Wednesdays, we go watch Daddy play ball.

Turns out, he's actually pretty decent.

Homeruns here & there, always catching someone out, Lainey was surprised.

We just love to watch, even if he wasn't any good, we'd still be there.

If you didn't know Lainey can be absolutely silly sometimes.

which is shown above.

Also, she always makes herself comfortable, she doesn't care.

& that is shown below.

I am your Mom, you are my child.

I am your quiet place, you are my wild.

I am your calm face, you are my giggle.

I am your wait, you are my wiggle.

I am your dinner, you are my chocolate cake.

I am your bedtime, you are my wide awake.

I am your lullaby, you are my peekaboo.

I am your goodnight kiss,you are my I love you.

reality check. it's not gonna be perfect mama.

I am 20 weeks pregnant with my second child. 
My first child is 10 moths old.
Needless to say, I haven't been too excited this pregnancy. More like overwhelmed.
Monday night, my husband & I, were in Wal-Mart looking at baby stuff for the new nursery.
For the first time, I felt excited. I was going to get to bring a baby home to a clean, decorated, well organized place.It was going to be his or her"ownplace". Where they belonged. 
It felt so perfect, I had my family, in its place. 


To understand this fully, you must know our first child was born out of wedlock & her parents were 2000 miles apart during her birth. She met her father when she was almost 2 weeks old. I didn't get to bring her home to her nursery until the end of November. She was born September 2nd.  So that being said, It's pretty clear that's almost became a dream of mine. To have everything ready, everything in it's place, mommy & daddy both there to welcome their precious baby & shower it with love. 


I went to bed that Monday night elated. It's the American Dream, right?  A little house, A little family, nothing goes wrong.
Tuesday morning my phone rings, It was my husband. "Ricki, Im deploying." 
I remember telling myself to breathe. I didn't say anything but when. "December 5th."
My due date is December 1st. Dreams, Happiness, my whole heart, just crushed. 


He's going to a base in the middle east, but it's said to be a pretty safe place to be. I guess that's the part I at least get to be thankful for. I tell him I'll always be there for him, My love will stay strong & faithful no matter how many miles are between us. & I mean it. But this has crushed me. Having a newborn again , alone. Granted our parents are super supportive and loving & I couldn't be more grateful for them. But it's not the same. I want my husband. 
It's just one of the most special times the Lord gives us. A new baby, A little miracle. 
I want to bring him or her home, to our home. as a family, our family. 


I know there is nothing I can do or say to change it. He'll be leaving & So will I.
Me & my two babies will move back to Mississippi for the 6 months he is gone. Mississippi is all the way across the country. There we are two hours from the gulf of mexico, here we are an hour from the Canadian border.  Somehow, I have to make that trip Me, a 16 month old, a newborn, & any of our belongings we expect to take with us. Two years ago I was crazy, wild, young, & didn't have a care in the world. Today, I have so many responsibilities it's ridiculous. I jumped into my adult life head first.  


One thing that bothers me a lot is Lainey. Casey is her most favorite person in this world. 

This picture was taken today after Casey had just left from lunch. She crawled to the door as fast as she could screaming "dada".  I'm so scared she will think she's done something wrong to be taken away from him. Six months is a long time. When he walks in the room, her face lights up like the Fourth of July. How can they take him away from her? I know she won't understand. The deployment is 5 months away, but it feels like tomorrow. & I cant help but just cry.  

playtime for playmates.

Laineys love for other children is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. 

Some need time to warm up to her, but she is instantly social.

She loves to touch, just simply rub their faces. 

Nicholas is my friend Cherish's son. Just like us, their stuck here in this place with  no family.

He is a beautiful boy, & his birthday is the day before mine.

He spent the day with us & Lainey couldn't have been happier.

He's a bit shy, so it took him awhile to get used to a baby trying to be all over him.

but, as you can see, they both had an amazing time.

cha cha's visit.

Lainey's ChaCha came for a short visit at the very first of July. Of course, Lainey remembered her instantly & was attached her whole visit. I hate that my child has to be separated from her grandparents. In my child hood  I remember being with all of my grandparents & they're happy memories for me. I hope that one day my children will be able to call upon their grandparents any time they want. I don't want them to have to say goodbye for months at a time. Even as an infant Lainey can recognize her Nonnie & ChaCha, even after months of not seeing them, & that I am thankful for.  

It is remarkable how, overnight, a quiet mature lady can learn to sit cross-legged on the floor and play a tin drum, quack like a duck, sing all the verses of The Twelve Days Of Christmas, make paper flowers, draw pigs, and sew on the ears of severely-injured teddy bears.

Grandmothers can turn simple moments into gifts of love.

 Your love is a rare and beautiful gift and you show it in so many ways.  In the pride that you take in your family,in your words of affection and praise,

 In your laughter and warm sense of humor,in the generous things that you do. Your love is a rare and beautiful gift and there’s no one who shares it like you.

 Everything my grandma does is something special made with love.She takes time to add the extra touch that says, "I love you very much."She fixes hurts with a kiss and smile and tells good stories grandma-style.It's warm and cozy on her lap for secret telling or a nap.And when I say my prayers at night I ask God to bless and hold her tight.Cause when it comes to giving hugs my grandma's arms are filled with love!

My Grandma is so sweet
When she visits, it’s a treat.
Gum drops and lollipops
The day should never stop
Peppermints and licorice
Lots of hugs and a sticky kiss
Cupcakes and gooey icing,
Grandma’s love is so enticing.

i have to give credit where credit is due.

 upon seeing this blog for the first time, my husband asked why he wasn't mentioned. 

i told him that it was mainly about Lainey, & i could sense he felt somewhat left out. 

therefore, this post is to let you know more about casey, but from my point of view.

November 3rd he blows out his candles.

he says his favorite color is blue, but i've never seen any proof of it.i dont think he has a favorite.

he loves board games, except pictionary. monopoly would be his favorite.

he loves to take his time, but he also likes to be on time.

when we go out to eat he always lets others pick. he is unselfish.

he can have a conversation with anyone in this world, & be friends instantly.

he loves & appreciates his mother, more than anyone possibly. i think that's one of his best traits.

his work ethic is AMAZING. he always strives to do his best, even on bad days without complaining.

he is an amazing & involved father, he doesn't just leave the parenting to me. 

he doesn't read directions,ever. & most of the time he gets everything right. the other times, he calls me & i read them for him.

he loves to dress nice. he loves to play golf & softball.

he always listens to me, even if i'm rambling & he doesn't understand.

he always kisses me & lainey both numerous times before he leaves us, even if we are sleeping.

he loves lainey so much. & not because he has to, but because he wants to.

he can't drive very good, like he thinks he can. although, i trust him completely behind the wheel.

he loves animals, even when they poop inside. he still loves them.

he hides his true feelings from everyone because he likes to be strong.

he loves to play with me, & i don't mean sexually. we're like schoolyard playmates.

he cant wait for his children to be big enough for him to throw them into the air. 

he is encouraging, supporting, & loving.

he is a better father & husband than he ever promised to be, or i ever could've imagined.

not only are these facts about my husband, but they're also reasons why i love him.

i could write on this all day, but he has a softball game at 530 & he loves for lainey & i to attend his games.