take me home.

i am so ready to go home.

probably once every two months the house wife stuff just gets to me.

it's not that i dont  appreciate my husband working long hours every day to allow me to stay at home with our baby. i love that about him & i love that he rarely ever complains. i know that i wont always be able to be here with them. day care is very near in our future. mommy has got to either get back in school or make some money. im not happy not "bettering myself". i want my children to have a mom they can be proud of.

back to the point, some days im not too far from a mental breakdown. I've made excuses to go to the grocery store just to breathe for 5 minutes & not have to worry about lainey eating anything hazardous, playing in brodey's dog bowl, pulling all the dvd's down one by one, etc. i would absolutely love just to get in my car & drive for hours. & just breathe. just saying that makes me feel so selfish. every second with her is a blessing & i know that.

 but i would cherish the opportunity to just sit with one of my friends just to have an adult conversation. or the chance to just hug my mother & feel her near me. or just to drive around all the roads i know so well, there's just something comforting to me about being there.   i hate living this far away. so far that to come home we have to plan & save months in advance. i pray the Lord will one day put us closer. way closer.