thanks to strep throat & a huge supply of pregnant emotions.
as i get more & more pregnant i'm becoming more "needy". i want more attention.
honestly, if casey would sit here & pet me like i was a pomeranian puppy, i think i'd glow like a night light.
he loves to play golf and i used to think it was a social thing. in the town we come from, golf isn't really a sport, it's a social event. everyone frequents the country club, drinks a little beer, tans by the pool, plays a few holes. but it's not like that here. he really just enjoys it. he doesn't have to drink beer while he does it (however, he'd like to sometimes) he just likes to play. & god bless him, he doesn't just tell me he's going to play. he asks for my permission. just to make sure.
getting back to the point, this weekend he had asked me if he could go, i told him sure. i woke up the next morning as sick as that pomeranian puppy i said i wanted to be. lainey was sick, i was sick, i didn't want to be alone, & i was sick of golf. needless to say, my pregnant emotions took over. 8 o'clock that morning i was upset that he left when i was sick, by 8o'clock that night i was upset about the way the stars were shining & my poor husband never once told me to shut up. (he should & could have.)
the next day we spent the day together. night came around & he wanted to go to his friend's house for awhile. he left and my pregnant, needy, selfish self made an appearance once again. he came home & we proceeded to have the biggest fight we have had in our almost-a-year marriage.
no one will ever understand our relationship. fighting is almost good for us. once it happens & one of us breaks, our relationship gets stronger from it. there is no one in this world who knows me better than casey & vice versa. there are sides to us that we've never shown to anyone else. not our parents, siblings, best of friends, ex-boyfriends/girlfriends. our relationship is just like that. no one in their right minds will ever be able to comprehend or understand it. i think that is one reason we've never been able to stay away from each other. the connection has just been there from the beginning. before i even had my learner's permit.
looking back, friday & saturday were just horrible. but sunday & monday were some of the best days of my life. just spending time with each other. genuine time just being grateful to have each other. the love i have for my family is unreal. i just sit back & look at casey and lainey, i dont know how i ever felt complete without them.
i've heard the first year of marriage is the hardest. i must admit, it hasnt really been all that hard.but we did do things a little unorthodox. baby, marriage, move in together, another baby, deployment. we had never lived together until we had been married for 2 months. not only that, but when we fight, we have no family to run to. We're stuck here to work it out. which has probally helped us so much. anybody who knows us on a personal level, knows that Casey & I are notorious for our fights & we've been through more together than most couples celebrating their 10th anniversary have.
that being said, i am so thankful to have someone like him. someone i know without a doubt, no matter how bad it gets, he's gonna be here for me. he's already seen me down & out, even seen me at my worst. so no matter how hard it gets, how far away the military takes us away from family, or even how far they take him away from me & our babies, the rings on our fingers are there for a reason. we're in it for the long haul. i'll skype, email, call, or even snail mail him until the cows come home.
sometimes all it takes is one bad weekend to make you realize that you are the happiest you have ever been. still.
